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August 6, 2015
Heading into this year’s company golf tournament, Cotton Cup 2015, all of the competitors had their sites set on dethroning the reigning modest and gracious Champions, the soft spoken and moderate Kevin Van Sickle and the gracious and humble Raymond Leaitch, both of whom declined an interview prior to T-off stating, “This tournament is not about our superior play or our stranglehold over the prestigious trophy, it’s about the celebration of life and our love for our co-workers and friends. We hope another team can pull off a miracle and take the torch from our tiring, although talented, grip.”
Alas, it was not to be. After shooting a remarkable score on the most difficult course in all of Myrtle, the winners could only bow their heads and apologize for their awesomeness.
Tyler Wastle was quoted as saying, “I don’t want to talk about it.”
Robert Gabinet was quoted as saying, “I have never seen anything like it, I am serious, I couldn’t see a thing, anyone see my ball?”
Jeff Roberts was quoted as saying, “I’ll have two more Creemore.”
Dale Cotton was not quoted, he left shaking his head and mumbling to himself.
Paul Cotton was quoted as saying, “How come I don’t have a golf watch?”
…and finally, Ken Duxbury was quoted as saying, “It went left because I got under it and didn’t come through the ball and I snapped my wrist and I thought the wind was left to right and my elbows got loose and my grip was too tight and…”
Congratulations to the Champs.